"Brandy Alexander" -title to a Feist song
It's so great to say.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Calisthenic, Week 13
Sonic Translation: beginning of "Cancion primera" by Miguel Hernandez (from Spanish)
Cancer Primary
Say I retired old camp
over avalanche Sunday
Christ be the mentor all home pray.
Ok, abysmal enter hello leaving
eel abrasive discovered!
All animal can't die:
all animal Cape Verde
yours are eight-charge races.
Remember Zeus scars.
Cars re-vested
tastes dead and floral,
baroque, dolphin, death's nude
entitled cruel dad.
Crepe and tan in my men.
(This was a lot harder than I thought it would be!)
Cancer Primary
Say I retired old camp
over avalanche Sunday
Christ be the mentor all home pray.
Ok, abysmal enter hello leaving
eel abrasive discovered!
All animal can't die:
all animal Cape Verde
yours are eight-charge races.
Remember Zeus scars.
Cars re-vested
tastes dead and floral,
baroque, dolphin, death's nude
entitled cruel dad.
Crepe and tan in my men.
(This was a lot harder than I thought it would be!)
Response 1, Week 13
Response to Mackenzie's "Improv Week 13"
Mackenzie,
I like how you so well imitated the simplistic yet uniquely specific illustration of a scene, and I have mostly very centered comments. First, I think the word "vast" could be doing more. "[F]lashing" describes both the sky and a discotheque, but vast seems only relevant to the sky. I did, however, enjoy the parallelism between the thunderstorm and a firework show with people gathering "to watch the display." This could even be a source of expansion, trying to stay on track with the firework metaphor and see what other descriptive language it lends you. I love the phrase "hollow chest-rattle feeling"--I can picture/feel what it means well--but also suggest thinking about "hollow chest-rattle feel;" this is phonetically and grammatically a little more interesting. I don't agree with the phrase "vibrato crescendo settled" though. Both vibrato and crescendo imply movement; I don't think either ever settle. But, crescendo can be a verb, and vibrato can crescendo through/into (choose your preposition) a ribcage. One last specific comment: "brief illuminations" does not work for me. It sounds too trivial, and I feel that the piece is otherwise working to point out the extraordinary in this event. Good job, keep working!
Mackenzie,
I like how you so well imitated the simplistic yet uniquely specific illustration of a scene, and I have mostly very centered comments. First, I think the word "vast" could be doing more. "[F]lashing" describes both the sky and a discotheque, but vast seems only relevant to the sky. I did, however, enjoy the parallelism between the thunderstorm and a firework show with people gathering "to watch the display." This could even be a source of expansion, trying to stay on track with the firework metaphor and see what other descriptive language it lends you. I love the phrase "hollow chest-rattle feeling"--I can picture/feel what it means well--but also suggest thinking about "hollow chest-rattle feel;" this is phonetically and grammatically a little more interesting. I don't agree with the phrase "vibrato crescendo settled" though. Both vibrato and crescendo imply movement; I don't think either ever settle. But, crescendo can be a verb, and vibrato can crescendo through/into (choose your preposition) a ribcage. One last specific comment: "brief illuminations" does not work for me. It sounds too trivial, and I feel that the piece is otherwise working to point out the extraordinary in this event. Good job, keep working!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Sign Inventory, Week 13
Sylvia Plath's "Medallion"
-nine stanzas
-each stanza consists of three lines
-nearly all enjambed
-line 8 only non-enjambed sentence
-stanza 9 made of two sentences (only other stanza besides 3rd containing a full sentence)
-references to metals throughout ("Medallion", death's-metal, knifelike, pins, arrow, chainmail, bronze, gate, unhinged)
-and making/finding (forging) metals (smoldering, splitting a rock, flame, fire, "turned him in the light", worked)
-half-rhymes between 1st and 3rd line in each stanza (flame/time, that/trout)
Junkyard Quote 1, Week 13
"The only thing that didn't come back was acid wash" -I think it was Elizabeth that said this...it was in class anyway
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Improv., Week13
from "Crows" -Eric Smith (p 217)
It is too noon for noon.
A fan cuts heat into tatters,
and you tell me days should
unspool only like this.
It's just as effortless to burst
into the shiver of early
afternoon, open-mouthed,
and expect someone else
to do the work of crows.
Forgive them their voices,
the pillow fight of preening,
their ink deep eyes, too deep
to be aware of anything
but depth.
Improvisation:
It's all too right for right.
The twinkling asphalt cuts paths
through town, and you say roads
should cross countries like this.
It's just as infantile to jump
into murky ponds of late
afternoon, open-mouthed,
and reject working satellites
whizzing orbits through dark
matter. Forget the politics,
the race to rip out the stars,
the twinkling shards, too bright
to recognize anything but
their brightness.
It is too noon for noon.
A fan cuts heat into tatters,
and you tell me days should
unspool only like this.
It's just as effortless to burst
into the shiver of early
afternoon, open-mouthed,
and expect someone else
to do the work of crows.
Forgive them their voices,
the pillow fight of preening,
their ink deep eyes, too deep
to be aware of anything
but depth.
Improvisation:
It's all too right for right.
The twinkling asphalt cuts paths
through town, and you say roads
should cross countries like this.
It's just as infantile to jump
into murky ponds of late
afternoon, open-mouthed,
and reject working satellites
whizzing orbits through dark
matter. Forget the politics,
the race to rip out the stars,
the twinkling shards, too bright
to recognize anything but
their brightness.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Response 2, Week 12
Response to Elizabeth's "Improv Week 11"
Elizabeth,
This is a very successful improv. It's interesting how you chose to strictly mimic the content-structure of MacCaig's poem instead of simply taking cues from it. This gives you a greaet starting point for a piece. One aspect I'd like to comment on is your tendency toward abstractions whereas MacCaig stayed within the concrete. "You gape at me with possibilities" for example, is not illustrative, and I think could do more work. Try to paint a picture. I don't know what "complacent bricks" look like; "dirt guts" does a good job of showing though.
Elizabeth,
This is a very successful improv. It's interesting how you chose to strictly mimic the content-structure of MacCaig's poem instead of simply taking cues from it. This gives you a greaet starting point for a piece. One aspect I'd like to comment on is your tendency toward abstractions whereas MacCaig stayed within the concrete. "You gape at me with possibilities" for example, is not illustrative, and I think could do more work. Try to paint a picture. I don't know what "complacent bricks" look like; "dirt guts" does a good job of showing though.
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