Friday, March 25, 2011

Response 1, Week 11

Response to Pauline's Week 10 Improv.

Pauline,
Your mimicry of Gilbert's sort of confessional nostalgia comes across extremely well. I also like how your title provides a placement for the piece, which then is not referred to in the body. Your step by step imagery also works ("down the stairs, through the kitchen...lift the latch...tiptoed back"). One thing I would recommend paying attention to is line length. Some of them seem to drag out longer than they should (such as the one starting "I remember"). This is really a great draft though, keep it going.

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