Response to Ben's "Free Write 1, Week 10"
Ben,
I enjoy the theme to this poem. It's like the demonstration presentations I had to do in high school (and again in Public Speaking): first you do this, here's why you do this, etc. The structure itself may benefit from experimentation though. Many of your lines are very long, going all the way to the margin. Others ("to clay", "cigarettes, and "Such is life") are cut extremely short. I don't get the feeling that these break choices are actively helping the piece. And watch your grammar: "malleable", "an unreasonable", "taken seriously", and at the end, "too much...too little."
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