Response 2, Week 10

Response to Candis's Improv, Week 10

Candis,
Though it is another good exercise to replace the major words in a published poem, this one seems a bit too direct. Think of substituting the verb "stay" or changing the noun away from a color. This would allow for a more surprising split from Frost's piece. Another suggestion is a movement toward the concrete, especially in a piece whose theme is death. What is a scrap of dirt? And why should I see that same word three times? (By the way, "scrap's" should be "scraps".) Just keep playing, this kind of exercise has endless substitution possibilities.