Sunday, February 6, 2011

Response 1, Week 4

Response to Christine's week 4 improv.

Christine,
You seem to have a good ear for lyrical/poetic words. Delilah is a lovely word to read and say out loud, "saffron grinders" is a great word pair, along with "Sorek wadi" and the phrase "wine-stained tongue". You actually say "hair" three times ("the hair's the thing", "longhair", and "with your hair") in this short piece; if you continued to build off this, that may be something to ride with. The phrase "mass of unkempt follicle growth" really distracted me. Not only does it contain a multitude of opposing, stressed, consonant sounds (m, f, l, g, th) that slow down the tongue, but the phrase itself sounds too trying. Overall, you have a good hold on language and are well able to use another piece to lead into your own words and images.

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