Saturday, February 26, 2011

Response 2, Week 7

Response to Ebef's "Free Entry, Week 7"

Ebef,
This entry is very rhythmic; I love the play between the long and short lines, along with the transition to a comma-list. I also feel that you did an awesome job of incorporating such an every-day phrase as "They're just ok." I think it works here because of the detail given in the beginning to what they are not, and "Squinty" follows well. "Secretly angry" could probably be worked with to be even more commonplace or unnoteworthy. Just ok, squinty, two dimensions;"Secretly angry" implies a little more depth and interest.

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