Response to Candis's "Free Write, Week 5"
Candis,
I like how the first two lines start out by simply listing words, moving from physical actions to states of being. However, I feel that "Hoping.Waiting.Dreaming" could use a more surprising or illustrative verb. Also, I am not sure if the periods without spaces are serving a real purpose here; it's a bit more distracting than anything. I also don't understand the phrase "fruitions really do come true", and think that you may want to play around with replacement words for "fruition". The differing line and sentence lengths keep the piece moving in a very interesting way. You could even exaggerate this for an even greater effect, making it the obvious driving force behind the peice.
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