Response 2, Week 4

Response to Pauline's Free Entry 1, Week 4

Pauline,
 First, I want to question the use of the phrase "blackened soul". I think this leans toward the category of "poesy". When I think typical dark poetry, soul would definitely be mentioned, along with something about it being dark, hurt, etc. An expansion tactic I have been working on that may help you: I take an abstract or expected word such as "soul" or "love" and just start writing what comes to my mind image-wise in relation to the word. It generally starts out more typical (love is the setting sun, a branch of cherry blossoms), but the more freely I get into the association, the images will get more interesting (love is a puddle of water, a coin in a gutter).
One more thing I want to mention is the structure of this piece. There is a little bit of rhyming going on that could be played with, maybe sharpened. And I am not sure if "detached" and "unearthed" deserve their own line, so line breaks can use some thinking and rearranging.
Otherwise, I love the interesting and ambiguous language used throughout. I hope you keep playing with this piece; I feel like it has high potential!