Response 1, Week 15

Response to Sydney's "Improv Week 15"

Sydney,
I respect the openness of this piece. It does not shy away from a taboo conversation; instead, it presents it in a calm, matter-of-fact way. I liked the male only speaks in cliches, but because of this, I think more of the poem should be devoted to non-cliches. The things he says dominate the piece; I felt like there should be more otherwise. What was the speaker thinking or feeling? Why does she believe him, or does she? Maybe you could borrow from the style of Old's poem: she documents this sort of time-line of the first weeks, detailing a span of feelings and responses. That could incorporated into this piece too, giving somewhat of a before and after along with a glimpse of thoughts throughout.