Response to Elizabeth's "Improv Week 11"
Elizabeth,
This is a very successful improv. It's interesting how you chose to strictly mimic the content-structure of MacCaig's poem instead of simply taking cues from it. This gives you a greaet starting point for a piece. One aspect I'd like to comment on is your tendency toward abstractions whereas MacCaig stayed within the concrete. "You gape at me with possibilities" for example, is not illustrative, and I think could do more work. Try to paint a picture. I don't know what "complacent bricks" look like; "dirt guts" does a good job of showing though.
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