Poetic Mantra #1
I am a poet and a dancer.
I am a poet and a dancer.
I am happy and centered.
I am happy and centered.
My life is full of beauty and love
My world is full of beauty and love
My life is poetry and dancing.
My world is poetry and dancing.
I am full of beauty and love
My soul is filled with beauty and love
I am happy and centered.
I am a poet and a dancer.
Kris I really enjoyed this poem because of the repetition you use. I’ve always been told that, in literature, repetition equals importance and I believe that you drove the point home. I also enjoyed the subject matter used, the mixing and musing of poetic images like dancing and love and beauty, coupled with the repetition. Some light but hopefully helpful criticism that I have would include: I feel like the poem would great improve if you included some synonyms for your word choices, I think that substituting other words when you place love and beauty in the verse would create a more robust work. The end.
ReplyDeleteThe opposite can also hold true: the more we repeat, the more tiring we become. Repetition can also be quite dangerous. How about this as an idea: try to write that piece over by incorporating imagery into it. What is "beauty" to this speaker," for example? What is "poetry"? These are culturally constructed concepts, no?
ReplyDeleteWhat if the speaker, for example, says, "My life is all blue moles and ripped suede." (I'm teaching "Blue Moles" by Plath today, so it's on my brain)? Or what is she says, "My life is all rain soaked azaleas shorn of their clothing"? Each offers a radically different portrait, a snapshot of the speaker's emotional situation. Why repeat when you have at your disposal all the rich variety of the English language? Sure, many poets repeat for effect, but simply repeating is not ALWAYS an effect.