Poem #1263
"Tell all the Truth, but tell it slant--
Successin Cicuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind--"
-Emily Dickinson
Syntax Mimicry:
"Gather all the stones, but gather them softly--
Honesty in groves dissipates
Too humble for our golden ancestors
The stones' last stand
As temples to the sun decompose
With darkness found
The stones must lie quietly
Or every church be abandoned--"
The syntax mimicry was a success because it explained the poem in Layman's terms. "Tell all the Truth, but tell it slant--" was interpreted by me, as saying "Tell the truth, but not entirely". However, I did like the mimicry of ""Gather all the stones, but gather them softly--". It makes the wording much more gentle and polite. I favored the line: "The Truth must dazzle gradually", as it represented a gradual manifestation of honesty. Your mimicry with stones made the poem more elegant and kind, my favorite line being: "The stones must lie quietly". Nice job overall.
ReplyDelete