Response 2, Week 1

Response to Ben McClain's "Improv 1, Week 1"

First, I will be picky. "It's" should be "its" and "two" if meant is confusing, and otherwise should be "too". I like the ending as a period, following the straightforward simplicity and abruptness of the poem, but the last line is actually being asked. This can easily by reconciled, either by using a question mark (I less prefer that) or by a small change such as "I wonder/ whether mice want [...]". The contrast in the language is great (sun, decay, bones, second chance); I would only suggest to write on, McClain! The longer you improvise, the more imagery you award yourself.