Response 1, Week 2

Response to Elizabeth Bounds's Week 2 Calisthenic.

I see a definite linguistic ambience throughout this exercise. It is simple and personal, sounding almost like free association, saying whatever popped into your head first. That works well with the incorporation of the idea of zen and light, and even adds a dimension to "raucous love-making"; it no longer sounds raunchy, but rather like something simple, natural, and beautiful, despite its loudness and disturbance.  One thing I would definitely change is "sort of tall".  This phrase fails to convey any real size and leads me to doubt whether or not the author is intimately acquainted with this object, which the rest of the poem seems to imply is true.